Smile
by Predominantly Normal
Summary: I'm Tweek Tweak, and whatever happens, I will always smile. No matter how much it hurts. Darkish.


**I DON'T OWN SOUTH PARK**

_Author's Notes:_

_-Dark angst/horror poem._

_-Tweek's point of view_

_-Please review! _

* * *

When I want to frown, I must smile.

When I get mocked, I must smile.

When I get shoved, I must smile.

When I walk home alone, I must smile.

When I cannot sleep, I must smile.

When I'm sad, I must smile.

When I'm tired, I must smile.

When I hate myself, I must smile.

When I feel pathetic, I must smile.

When I feel neglected, I must smile.

When I stay up until three-thirty to watch for gnomes, I must smile.

When I see them, I must smile.

When I am the only one who sees them, I must smile.

When I fear I'm delusional, I must smile.

When my father feeds me these delusions through metaphors, I must smile.

When I can't stand those metaphors, I must smile.

When I yell, "**I want out**!", and smash my head against something until my forehead bleeds, I must smile.

When my dad doesn't care, I must smile.

When I know he doesn't love me, I must smile.

When I know I ruined his love for my mother, I must smile.

When I know he wants nothing more than to walk out on me, I must smile.

When I know he won't because he loves my mother too much, I must smile.

When he threatens to sell me to slavery when we're away from prying eyes, I must smile.

When my mother overheard us once and screamed at my father, I must smile.

When I spent that whole night crying, I must smile.

When my parents fight, I must smile.

When I hold my head as they scream louder, I must smile.

When I curl under my covers, crying, I must smile.

When I fall asleep, I must smile.

When I wake up, I must smile.

When I walk to school in the freezing weather, I must smile.

When I see him, I always smile.

When I think about how perfect he must be, I must smile.

When I hear his name, "_Craig_", I must smile.

When I hear my ugly name, I must smile.

When I walk home again and leave him, I must smile.

When my parents are too angry at each other to make anything to eat, I must smile.

When I realize that it's my fault, I must smile.

When I have to skip dinner once more, I must smile.

When I must clutch my begging stomach, I must smile.

When I hear my mother scream, I must smile.

When I curl up into a ball near my door, pretending to be invisible, I must smile.

When I've had enough of it, I must smile.

When I decide to walk down, I must smile.

When I see my father with his fist raised and my mother crying in fear, I must smile.

When my father brings his fist down and strikes her, eyes full of hatred, I must smile.

When I rush down, I must smile.

When my father glares at me through narrowed eyes, I must smile.

When I feel like vomiting, I must smile.

When he stomps towards me, I must smile.

When he smacks my face, I must smile.

When wet tears go down my eyes, I must smile.

When he turns around, I must smile.

When I reach backwards, fingers gripping the sturdy handle of a knife, I must smile.

When I walk towards my father, I must smile.

When I bring the knife down into his back, him screaming in pain, I must smile.

When I slowly twist the knife, I must smile.

When my mother screams in fear, I must smile.

When my father chokes on his own putrid blood, I must smile.

When I yank the knife out, now covered with his dirty blood, I must smile.

When I look at my mother, shivering in fear and looking up at me with terrified eyes, I must smile.

When she cries, I must smile.

When I walk forward and she flinches, I must smile.

When I kneel down, I must smile.

When I caress her cheek as she trembles, tears flowing down her face, I must smile.

When I hug her close, I must smile.

When I plunge the knife deep into her heart, I must smile.

When she chokes, her eyes wide and pained, I must smile.

When I watch as her eyes glaze over, I must smile.

When she says my name, I must smile.

When I force the knife deeper, I must smile.

When she chokes on her last breath, I must smile.

When I rip the knife out, I must smile.

When I heft them both to the fireplace, I must smile.

When red blood covers my green shirt, I must smile.

When I realize that they're Christmas colors, I must smile.

When I set them ablaze, I must smile.

When I need to vomit from their burning carcasses, I must smile.

When I go to sleep, I must smile.

When I wake up, and change my bloodstained shirt, I must smile.

When I walk to school, I must smile.

When I see him again, I always smile.

When he beckons me over to him, I must smile.

When I talk to him, I must smile.

When he says he's got a girlfriend now, I must smile.

When my chest aches in pain, I must smile.

When he grins softly and asks me to be his wingman, I must smile.

When I see her, I must smile.

When I imagine twisting the knife, I must smile.

When she smiles back, I must smile.

When she looks at me, I must smile.

When she makes Craig smile, I must smile.

When she walks off with him, I must smile.

When I race home and skip school, I must smile.

When I walk into the bathroom of my barren house, I must smile.

When tears flow in rivers down my narrow face, I must smile.

When I pull out a pocket knife, I must smile.

When I imagine her smiling, I must smile.

When I realize she's trying to steal Craig from me, I must smile.

When I remember her name, "_Wendy_", I **frown**.

When I don't like how I look when I frown, I frown even more.

When I never want to frown again, I must smile.

When I remember my promise, I must smile.

When my cheeks hurt, I must smile.

When I cannot smile any longer, I must smile.

When I lift the knife, I must smile.

When I take it to the corner of my mouth, I must smile.

When I rip into the soft pale flesh, I must smile.

When it hurts, I must smile.

When I do the same to the other side, I must smile.

When I look into the mirror, I must smile.

When I see the bloodline carved across my face, I must smile.

When I trace my finger along my carefully carved grin, I must smile even wider.

When it stings, I must smile.

When I clean it off, I must smile.

When I know that I will always smile, I must smile.

When I walk to school the next day, I must smile.

When I see him and her together, I must smile.

When people stare at me, I must smile.

When people whisper about me, I must smile.

When Craig looks at me and frowns, I must smile.

When I no longer see Craig any more, I must smile.

When I want to cry, I must smile.

When I feel like vomiting, I must smile.

When I want to kill myself, I must smile.

When I realize Craig is avoiding me, I must smile.

When I see Wendy walking outside of the school, I must smile.

When I see her kiss Craig on the cheek, I must smile.

When he kisses her back, I must smile.

When she begins to walk home, I must smile.

When I realize that I'm following her, I must smile.

When I take out my knife, I must smile.

When I confront her, I must smile.

When she stares back in defiance, even when I lift the knife, I must smile.

When I realize she makes Craig happy, I must smile.

When I drop the knife, I must smile.

When she uses said knife to cut my face, I must smile.

When I frown, I must smile.

When I walk home in pain, I must smile.

When I am alone, I must smile.

When I cry, I must smile.

When I stay home from school the next day, I must smile.

When I feel sick to my stomach, I must smile.

When I hear a knock on my door, I must smile.

When I don't feel like answering it, I must smile.

When I decide to anyways, I must smile.

When I see Craig, I must smile.

When he sees me, he frowns.

When my heart is brutally ripped into pieces, I must smile.

When he shoves me hard against the wall, I must smile.

When more than my bones are being broken, I must smile.

When he smacks my face with the flat of a knife, I must smile.

When my heart is cut more than my face, I must smile.

When he screams at me, I must smile.

When I hear his words, "Stay away from Wendy, you **FREAK**!" I must smile.

When I hear that one little word again and again, I must smile.

When I realize that I will never be important, I must smile.

When I know that I will never be loved, I must smile.

When I cry one more time, I must smile.

When blood pools around my body, I must smile.

When I see the damage done, I must smile.

When my vision slowly fades to nothing, I must smile.

When my flesh rots, I must smile.

When they find me, I must smile.

When they carry me away, I must smile.

When I am lowered into the ground, I must smile.

When I know Craig is crying on the surface, I must smile.

When dirt piles over me, I must smile.

When I am trapped, I must smile.

When I know who killed me, I must smile.

When I can't ever let anyone know, I must smile.

When I want to scream it 'till my throat bleeds, but can't, I must smile.

When I won't ever tell you who brutally shoved the coldly glinting weapon into my chest repeatedly, I must smile.

When I want you to know, I must smile.

When I feel that you deserve to know, I must smile.

When I will not directly say who loved every second of my death, I must smile.

When I will not tell you precisely who will not have any regrets about plunging the malicious steel blade into my heart, I must smile.

When I will not tell you exactly who tore my already broken heart into more and more pieces, I must smile.

When I won't tell you who it is, I must smile.

But I'll give you a hint; **he's still smiling**.

* * *

_("Hey Tweek?" Craig looks at his best friend happily. _

_"Y-yes?" Tweek looks at him adoringly, drinking in the sight of his icy blue eyes. He smiles nervously as a pink hue corners his cheeks._

_"I like your smile." Craig says after a short pause. Tweek brightens up and smiles wider._

_"Y-you do?" He asks cautiously._

_Craig nods and grins, "Yeah." _

_"Hey Tweek?" _

_"Y-yeah?" _

_"Never stop smiling." _

_"I won't.")_


End file.
